How To Let Go of Frustration

by Leo Babauta

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We all get frustrated with other people. We want our coach, our team or our partner to be a certain way, our kids to do certain things, our spouses to be less something or other, our friends to change their lives, our relatives to be healthier, other people to be less rude, etc etc.

So what can be done about this? It can drive us crazy but we can’t make it happen. It’s out of our control. Trying to change others and wanting them to be the way we want them to be just doesn’t work. The alternative though, is unthinkable to most of us: to just let others be however they want to be even when that annoys you.

Here’s a way of being that I’m cultivating:

  1. Remind myself that I don’t control others.
  2. Remind myself that other people can live their lives however they want.
  3. See the good in them.
  4. Let go of an ideal that I have that’s causing the frustration.
  5. See that when others are being difficult, they are having a hard time coping and to empathize with this.
  6. Remember what it was like when I’ve had a hard time, when I struggled with change, when I’ve been frustrated.
  7. Do what I can to help them: to be of service, to listen, to let them feel heard.

I’m not good at this yet, but when I find my way, it helps. I’m less frustrated, it helps me to be more mindful, it improves my relationships and it helps others feel better. I wish this for all of you.

 

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